I don’t get it! My grandparents made life long friends in the military. Friends they went to visit long after their military career was over. They were social butterflies and I do lack that.
I’ve been depressed lately. But first time in my life it’s let’s say selective depression. It’s only about all my close friends being what feels like forever away.
It’s no secret I have hated being in this state. And maybe that’s my issue. I need to accept we are here. And we aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.
I know I signed up for this when I married my husband. I knew what was in store for this military life. Sure not all of it but I knew we’d be moving, away from family, stuck in places we love and places we hate.
It’s not like I want to give up on the military life. I like it changing. But recently, it’s been lonely. My husband doesn’t quite catch on when I just need him to be a friend but I learned a while back I can’t expect my husband to fill every need I have. That’s why God gives us the capacity to love more than one person. He puts others in your life so you don’t have just one person you’re leaning on for everything. I’ve screwed relationships up in the past because I thought a guy, including my husband needs to be my everything. No one can be your everything. No one can handle that roll. Well except for God.
But I just want a friend, near me to count on, to talk to, that wants a friend as much as I do. I know when we become mothers/wives other priorities get in the way of friendship and that’s ok. But I just want someone I can hang out with before my time of exhaustion hits.
I need to give it to God. Keep praying and keep trying. I’ve been the most social in this last month versus any other time in my life yet I still feel so alone. I know that’s what depression does, how it makes you feel.
For now, all I can do is keep it up and ask God to answer my friend wanted add!
Thanks for reading! Any suggestions are always welcome! Do any of you have twitter? Find me: @GraySkyHippie