How to Save the World

So I have had a heavy heart. I don’t always want to be a stay at home mom/wife. I love my time with my daughter. She’s curled up next to me sleeping now! I hope we adopt children and want to be with them until they start school too. I know I am very blessed to be able to stay with my daughter, don’t miss understand me but I want to do more.

I want to save the world. I will settle with saving a life. My history with incest and rape makes me want to shout loudly to educate the world but I don’t know where to start.

I would like to be trained in something, even if it involved a bit more school. Online would be amazing but not opposed to going in for a few courses. But my struggle is, not knowing what.

I want to work with sexually abused women. Specifically women/teens/children that are or have dealt with incest, molestation or rape. But where do I start? What careers do I look into? What training? What school? WHERE? WHAT?

I worked at a drug and eating disorder rehab center. I was a “recreational therapist”. I really enjoyed the work. I loved working one on one the most but was surprised at my ability to work with groups of over 60 people.

I don’t think I want to be a psychologist or psychiatrist. I want to work with support groups. I want to work one on one with people. I want to incorporate exercise, art, learning material, everything to help the women, these people, these families that have been hurt by these issues.

But what is this called? I need your thoughts and perspectives. I have emailed several people that work with specific groups of people and their advice has been limited.

I don’t know where to start. I don’t know where to look. I took a look at colleges but I don’t know what to look for. I’d call a school, I’ve even talked and emailed them and they don’t seem to understand what I want. They send me in directions that work for them but I want to go in the direction that works for me.

But that is hard when I don’t know what its called, let alone what it is.

Please, please, please. Suggestions, Directions, Thoughts!


So like I said in my last posts, I have an appointment with my therapist in a few hours. Yes procrastination at the finest.

So here we go…

Priorities for therapy:

1. Calming my Anxiety
2. Deal with Anger towards my Brother and Family
3. Deciding what to say to my Family when I Finally face them and Talk about what Happened
4. How to Handle it when it doesn’t go as Expectated
5. Working on Expectation:
-My Own
-My Husbands
-My Family
-Not having as Many
6. Show for My Appointments
-Make Time and Not Cancel
-Not be Scared to do This

My Personal Priorities

1. Devote some Time to Myself
-Learn/Play my Beautiful Guitar
-Work on Crafts/Art/Selling for myself and My Business
-Learn Spanish
-Look at More School/Plan my Next Step to help
-My Bible
-Devotional Books
-Learning/Growth Books
-Fun Books

2. Spend more Quality Time with my Daughter
– Enjoy her
-Show her Love
-Not Stess Around her

3. Spending More Quality Time with my Husband
-Doing Things Other than TV
-Not hold Past Issues Towards our Future
-Have More Intamcy (goes along with previous)
-Be Fun and Happy Around the Short Amount of Time we Have Together
-Be Thankful of All he Does Do
-Be Forgetfull of All he Doesn’t Do
-Show More Love

For now, that’s what I got. And a plus, I did my homework before my Appointment. Or in the parking lot or lobby!

Decisions About a Lifetime Friendship Gone wrong. HeLp!!

What would you do about a friendship gone wrong and all the reminders with it?

I’m struggling, with the organizing of my daughters room and my own stuff. I have photos and items from a lifetime friend that more recently became an ex best friend.

I’m devastated that it ended like it did. We had good times but majority of the best times where in high school. Ummm for me that was 2002. Then she’s come and gone through my life. We normally work it out. But this time feels different. Feels final. Especially on her part. And that she can do that, makes it final on my part. How it ended, made it final on my part.

I know I don’t need someone like that in my life. But we’ve come across all these reminders of our friendship. Photos, gifts, a handmade quilt for my daughter, paintings for her room.

What do I do with these things, these reminders. I don’t think I want to goodwill them yet but do I hang pictures that remind me of the good times that always remind me of her. Do I keep the quilt in my daughters room, the paintings she made?

I feel like everything that makes me think of her, needs to go in a box. At least for now. I’m still angry and extremely hurt. I’m flooded by all these emotions. Not just emotions from her but the emotions from the organization.

I’m exhausted and tired. Your thoughts? What would you do? Cold turkey? Remember good times? Or cry?

Thanks y’all,




Professional Organizer

Kind of funny I’m more embarrassed to admit we had to hire a professional organizer than other things. She comes tomorrow, and I’m nervous. I am excited to get our house in running order.

Nervous about her coming because tonight I can’t even get my daughter and I upstairs. I have to sleep on the couch, she has to sleep in the “guest room” that’s suppose to be the dinning room. I don’t think she quiet understands how little I’m able to do.

Adrenaline seems to help, so hopefully that helps first day. But after two days of driving the top of my feet swell like 3 times bigger than normal. I then sat in bed with my feet up all night. And half the next day just to shop for the stuff she said I needed.

It was too much walking though, too many trips up the stairs yesterday (3). That I can hardly move. I keep bottled water by my chair so I can feel up my daughters cup. I debate when it’s worth the time to go to the bathroom.

My husband and I discussed putting a shower downstairs. Still hoping in the morning I have the energy to get us both at least clean, which means a trip upstairs.

I have high hopes to see a pain specialist and waiting for a referral for a rheumatologist. Navy medical system has been really slow and annoying.

But as I started that to me it’s so embarrassing to admit that we have to hire someone to unpack boxes basically and move stuff in and out. I painted our first duty stations house. 3 bedroom house, all by myself, the kitchen, living room, hallway everything! And now I can’t unpack a few boxes in the garage?

I can’t get our house ready for guest. I know it will be helpful. Finally be able to have people over. Cookouts and get togethers like we used to. Have family up on the weekend. We are in a prime location near the beach.

I hope to get a system out of her, that I can maintain and use for my benefit. But for now, I’m nervous she won’t get why we need help. That she tries to make things complicated when I can’t do complicated.

I’ll let you know how it goes! Thanks for listening to me vent!