Healing


I had a wonderful awful experience with a friend tonight. I hate to call it wonderful when our subject was so heartbreaking. But it is so good and bad to have a friend, friends that have experienced abused to be able to open up and talk with them. To understand how they feel. To relate. I never want for anyone to be abused but for those of us that have been abused , it is like finding a kindred spirit.

We went to a friends house, I knew some of her story, she has been physically abused in a “past life”. She too no longer wants to have any contact with her abuser ( a relative). But the words we shared will touch my life forever.

I think when victims find other victims, they feel validated. You finally hear the words you need to hear because they are the only ones that can say them. It’s not a secret club, not one I would want for anyone to be part of but often times you just know. Automatically, hey! You’re a victim too!

I met this wonderful women and hung out several times before she shared a little of her story with me. I was in a freak out about finding child care, and she got it. She was the same way, less of a freak out because she is a lot more level headed than me! But it was the aftermath of this blog on my life. A time where now I am not going to stay silent. She was one of the first people I bravely told of my background of incest and rape. It was via text message but it was a fresh start. A start to speak and it blossomed to being able to put it into worlds and say out loud. Words I have never spoken to even my family. Freeing. So freeing these words have been!

But tonight sharing our stories of abuse and family drama amazed me. Mainly because our backgrounds are so different yet our stories are “similar”. Maybe I should say feelings are similar. Our abuse was completely different yet very much the same pain and trauma.

We worry about our safety, about our children, about our relationships.

If you’re having a difficult time facing your abuse, I suggest you seek refuge in someone that understands your pain! In a blog here, support group, a friend in your life! We can help each other heal!

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Healing

  1. I have found that victims are often the nicest people. I think many of us are selected for our traits, even if on a subconscious level by the abuser. It helps a lot to know others who were in the same situation.

    • I’ve read and re read your comment several times. I haven’t known how to reply but realized I’m getting passed the embarrassing, does she ever read these comments time! I think you’re right. It’s scary how it’s true.

      • No worries, I don’t keep track. I cannot keep track of my own posts, much less my comments.. which is more about my time constraints than anything else.
        It is scary. Especially when you are raising kids- you want them to be obedient to you, but not necessarily obedient, you know? It’s a tightrope for me.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s