One Small Step for My Man, One Giant Leap For His Mankind


Well I can’t make a post about writing more and not follow through! Keeping me accountable!

I was pleasantly surprised yesterday when I posted on FB a comment about rape and soon after my husband got a text from a friend saying “can I be smart on your wives FB without her getting mad at me” my husband looked and only saw the recent post was about rape and replied, “I wouldn’t do that for good reason, she’s sensitive about rape”

Well his friend answered a few minutes later, “well now I feel bad I was talking about her post about the nails!.” My husband, “this is really awkward now, no she wouldn’t care about you joking with her”

This had my mother in law and I in a fit if giggles. I struggled breathing. At least they were talking about it.

For me, I was impressed. My husband has stopped using the word like it’s just mean sex, that it is something you do to someone’s mother. He started working on it the first time he said it in front of me and I cried way back when we started dating in college.

Before. I would just ignore it. But I thought it was good, wether he made it sound like it was all me or not that he was warning him I’m not gonna joke around about rape.

I’ve been happy before when I watch his head jerk sharply to check on me when someone said “rape.” And I guess that he spoke up, even though spoken directly too, it still means we are moving in the right direction.

Yes, I do wish he had just jumped ahead and gone off on him but baby steps.

How do you advocate for abuse? How do you help people understand your stance on issues?

I really struggle. I don’t know if its all groups if boys or all my husbands groups of boys that have issues. That it isn’t funny to say things that are derogatory. And I don’t think they discriminate towards just gender. They say racist, sexist, piggish things.

When’s it your place to sit on the sidelines or go and say something. I make comments I wish people wouldn’t hold against me, I joke about things maybe other people find offensive. How do you know when you’re standing up or being too much?

Thanks!

GraySkyHippie

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3 thoughts on “One Small Step for My Man, One Giant Leap For His Mankind

  1. I’m learning how to do this too! It can be enlightening and encouraging at times vs. disheartening and angering during others. What I have learned that is true most of the time is the less amount of people the more they are likely to listen instead of brushing you off because they get that group mentality of not wanting to be embarassed. I still try and speak up in big groups if what’s said is particualry harmful, but sometimes I catch myself saying I’ll get the next mean comment on rape or I’ll speak up the next sexist joke…. Any tips and tricks you have please share! I am always trying to find meaningful ways of speaking up and changing the cultural dialogue. I know adding humor to my rebuttal usually helps me at least gain confidence. So many people just think that’s just the way the world is… Nope! that’s the world we collectively make as active participants in our cultural mindsets.

    On a similar note, I really like this shirt cuz it sums up most of my thoughts around my husband’s friends http://www.feministapparel.com/collections/apparel/products/feminism-feminist-shirts-feminist-t-shirts-feminist-gifts-sexist-jokes-are-boring-t-shirt-tanktop

    They have some other good conversation starters on there too.

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