Easter, Belief in God after Sexual Abuse


I’ve realized I probably haven’t made it Clear that I believe Bible is Gods written word. I do believe it’s ancient book full of people’s stories. But stories God wanted us to remember now.

I celebrate Easter not for the candy and Easter bunny but because I believe God suffered for us. He was nailed to the cross. It’s a reminder that God went through trials, through condemnation He did not deserve. That He was beaten, He was nailed to the cross. He deserved none of this, so he understands abuse, sexual abuse, incest and molestation. He too knows what it feels like and was un rightfully was killed for what He did not do. But in much higher form, He was perfect, without sin.

He did that for us. For our sins. So we can be forgiven if we just simply accept He carried that burden for us and that He is Lord. Today in church, sitting through Easter sunday church service, He showed me a new perspective, I’m sure from the openness this blog has given me but to feel Jesus’s pain more vividly than ever before. I did not deserve that sexual abuse I received growing up or later in college and Jesus knows my pain and confusion 100 times over because He hadn’t even thought a wrong thing in His life yet he was beaten, abused, killed because of it.

I also am reminded at Easter that Jesus was able to show all those around then, and all who believe now that He un rightfully suffered and was raised from the dead. Something miraculous . To show He wasn’t just man but also God.

That made me think of what amazing things God can have in store for us. Those who silently suffer and have done no wrong, those who are abused, molested. It was such a strong story that his pain didn’t go in vein and neither do ours.

In no way do I think I am or we should compare ourselves to God/Jesus. But I do think hearing the Easter story after writing this blog allowed me too see a whole different side of things.

That I wanted you to understand I fully believe in God. That my issue is more with Church not growing in knowledge of incest, sexual abuse and trauma into its teachings. Especially since often times the abuse can come from their own church leaders or worshipers. They need to have a more open mindset.

That reaching people isn’t one size fits all but Jesus is. And His character was one much different than shown in many churches. He always surrounded Himself with those less fortunate, He didn’t do it once a year. He came to the sinners level and helped explain the God/Father He loved. That was forever many years ago and He didn’t use scare tactics you see in churches today. He used love, compassion, understanding and patiently teaching.

Where has all that gone? He showed through His life, the way He acted that He was the son of God and I believe we as the Christian I want to be, walk around and show what kind of trust and belief we have in Him without giving them the what Roman Road Rules? (Been a while since we had to go out evangelizing.) God doesn’t need us to save people, He has done enough to show His Love by sending His guiltless son to die for us and forgive our sins. I believe He does and can use us to help show others God is grace, mercy, love not wrath and hate as I seem to feel lots of people feel today.

And I feel like church has come more about what you wear or who you know. Jesus didn’t care what you looked liked, how you dressed or who you were. The church today is condemning those very same people that Jesus would have sat to dinner with, shown His love to.

I just don’t want to be part of churches that are gay bashing, or sit outside abortion clinics with pamphlets about how they are going to Hell for aborting their baby, or look strangely at people with tattoos, or piercings. (Trying to think of less harsher examples but going blank, it will come after I post hah I’ll leave it in the comments). And let’s note here there are several churches that I believe strive hard to be open to anyone. But I think a lot are stuck in an ancient book when God is here, present. But….

My God is stronger than that, He is better than that, He would show those people love and mercy. He would be kind. And I think that’s the part of Christianity we should focus on not always the one of the rules. Rule followers or rule breakers.

Then people would feel differently about the church today. People might feel welcome to come. Welcome to come in ask questions, free to understand how great my God can be. Not see what I thinks the worst side of Him.

But churches today choose to tend to ignore experiences like mine of the many others reading my blog. That maybe my church experience, was different. Ridden with guilt from what my brother was doing to me. And who knows if it had been taught to me from any of my elementary-college life, I might have come clean to someone about what my brother did to me. Instead of hiding away in fear of what happened, might have known how much my family, friends and church would have backed me up. Backed them up instead of probably looking at them with disgust and shame.

But today I want you to know I believe in Jesus and that He has risen indeed.

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2 thoughts on “Easter, Belief in God after Sexual Abuse

  1. Thank you! The way churches teach is what led me as a child to believe that God hated me. Why wouldn’t I think God hated me? Sex outside of marriage is wrong, right? That “fear” that the churches preach had me scared to death. On the one hand, my abuser told me what he was doing was right and that all little girls had to go through this. Then on the other hand, when my grandmother would take me to church, I learned, because with children it’s all about memorizing the easy stuff, that this “God” spoke his “ten commandments.” So I remember two commandments very clearly….Commandment V-Honor thy father and thy mother and Commandment VII- Thou shalt not commit adultery. I was confused. I thought I had sinned because, did I not commit adultery? I thought I would sin even more should I not obey my step-father and keep our secret. I’m still struggling but I know now that he (my ex-step-father) will be judged in the end, not me. My issue is like yours, “more with Church not growing in knowledge of incest, sexual abuse and trauma into its teachings.” I pray everyday that this will change and maybe that, one day, all of our voices will be heard.

    I learned from your words! God bless you!

    • Sorry just getting back to this comment! I’m new to wordpress and have yet to learn it correctly! I agree, it’s very confusing as a Christian child living with sexual abuse! Thanks for reading, I’m sorry to hear you had to go through it with your ex step father but glad we can find comfort in each other!

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